Well Fuck Me Sideways...

As much as I was completely dreading coming back to Oz it seems that things may not be quite as bad as they seemed. The journey was actually pretty good, I slept for almost the whole of the 14hrs from Dubai to Sydney so no jetlag (so far) and I was back in Newcastle by 11am which gave me plenty of time to clear up the mess… A few of you might remember my sudden realisation in the pub that I’d turned off my fridge/freezer before I left! I had to throw away all my food so I’m now living off peanut butter sandwiches (pretty good deal eh?) and stale teabags.

The Bleeding Through gig was FUCKING INCREDIBLE. Yes, that does deserve capitals. The support was great musically but the guitarist for Between The Buried and Me is a cunt. For a start he was wearing white angel wings which made him look ridiculous and then he spent most of their set facing backwards towards the amps. His face never changed and he barely moved… great showmanship you prick! I paid good money to go and see a live show and I expect a show! If I just wanted music I’d have illegally downloaded their albums instead and he wouldn’t have earnt a penny. Anyway, As Blood Runs Black were pretty good too though I only caught the last half of their set.
Bleeding Through were actually awesome, by far the best gig I’ve been to in a long, long time. I really wish I’d taken my camera but I would have probably lost it in the pit… the whole place went mental and there were some mental circle pits in a room smaller than my office. I also now have a MASSIVE crush on their keyboard player… I don’t know who the hell she is but damn is she hot! I kept being distracted by her cleavage every time she started head banging, in fact that was one of the best things about her, she really got into it. There’s nothing worse than a keyboard player who stands there looking awkward or embarrassed, she went for it and really added to the show. The absolute climax for me was when they played “kill to believe” at the end; BEST FUCKING SONG EVER. That made the gig for me, was a great ending to a good day.

I did however meet a girl (ooooh!) but as you’ll read it really wasn’t such a great thing. Here is an open letter to all such women:

Dear Madam/Slut/Sponger,

After meeting you last night I am writing to say that you disappointed me immensely. When you first approached I saw that you were in fact, quite pretty, and that you had a figure to match. Our initial conversation was pleasant and I had entertained thoughts of buying you a drink and possibly getting your number later on in the evening. I was perfectly happy to give you a cigarette as I was unaware at the time that you were only using this as a pretext for conversation. I did in fact see you coughing your guts up shortly after due to you being a pathetically weak-lunged specimen. It all went downhill however when you let slip that you are unemployed and have no plans to do anything but sponge off the state for the next few years. Get a fucking job you cunt! Then you had the bare-faced cheek to ask me for cash for a drink… over my stinking dead corpse!
Thanks to you being such a scrounging waste of space I then had to devote a good 10mins to thinking up methods of escape/brutally killing you. This distracted me from the gig which I’d paid good money for, you STI infested whore!
My only compliment to you is that you manage to ensnare men with complete ease, yes I did see you sneak off round the corner with one of the roadies for 5mins… I’m amazed it even took you that long.
So in conclusion all I have to say is that I honestly hope you catch AIDS and die alone and in pain somewhere far, far, away.

Yours,

RTC

So onto more good news… I’ve got another job lined up  This one would be similar to the consultancy type work south of Sydney but the mine in question is practically inside the city. It’s another coal mine and if it all works out I’d be working on developing a drift down to a new seam which would be mined using drill & blast. Apparently CSM has a good reputation for working with this kind of operation (???) so the GM of the company jumped at getting his hands on me (not in that way you perverts!). I’d be doing the feasibility study for 6-9months which would involve geotechnics, ventilation, methods of driveage, coal clearance and logistics. They know it’s slightly above my current level of competence but would give me plenty of support from the current engineers. Then when I’m done they would use my report to send out a tender which my company would be expecting to win. I’m much more up for this than the project south of Sydney as I wouldn’t have to move and transport wouldn’t be such an issue. As much as I hate to admit it I actually quite like living in Newcastle and don’t really want to relocate if I can avoid it. I’m waiting to hear from my boss about this so fingers crossed.

Right, after that mammoth post I’m just about done… nothing has changed in my office but it was nice that a few people were actually pleased to see me back, I’m amazed they noticed I was gone! Oh and my secret santa present was a scale model of a Yamaha R1 which was pretty cool.

That’s it for now.