Grab a cuppa and pull up a chair, this could take a while…

Ok first, a disclaimer. I wrote this over a week ago and haven't actually edited it from the original. I've read it through and really don't like parts of it as they sound wrong but fuck it, read it anyway. It's mostly out of date but I haven't had time to write any more.

I’ll start back on Friday evening: I got back from work to find that the rather nice glass dining table on my balcony had magically transformed itself into a million very small dining tables and scattered itself over half of Newcastle. Once I’d finished being grateful for this fortuitous event (read: screaming “fuck” many, many times) I realised that some fucking pleb had had a brainwave and placed large white pebbles on ledges around my building, approximately 3-4 stories above my balcony. I can only assume it was a bird that knocked about a dozen off, straight onto my suicidal table. Luckily Nick was on his way round and I’d picked up a bottle of wine so started drinking to quell the pain :D We picked up another couple of bottles on our way to his place then got a lift to Newcastle Uni for a night of drunken revelry student style.
The “big O” is a live music event and the main bands playing were The Fratelli’s and The Music though if I’m honest I didn’t pay an awful lot of attention to the music. We met a group of girls within 10mins of walking in the door and the rest is less history than a footnote in time. I don’t have a fucking clue what her name is/was/might be but I spent most of the evening talking to a 28yr old radiologist who was obviously far too sober to be putting up with a goon like me. We got on pretty well but alas, like usual, I walked away without even a peck on the cheek, let alone any means of ever contacting her again. Such is life haha.
I crashed at Nick’s place and got woke up with no hangover but over 30 (count ‘em!) mozzie bites, including 5 on my face… NOT COOL.** Then it was a mad day of packing/cleaning before Di’s cocktail party on Saturday night. This was about 20-25 people, mostly from work and my usual drinking buddies were there, bar Nick. I had an awesome time and managed to leave with a few more mozzie bites and an invite to an 18th birthday party, can you say “Hell Yes”?

Now comes the fun bit… I spent Sunday cleaning more and packing more and then got on a train to the lovely Picton. When I say lovely I mean “tiny redneck town in the middle of fucking nowhere”. I finally moved into my quaint new flat and when I say quaint I mean “dirty, old, salmon pink and fucking depressing”. I didn’t have any electricity for the first 24hrs and because it literally has no furniture except a cooker and a toilet I’ve been sleeping in a sleeping bag and roll mat on my living room floor. No fridge means no food either so I’ve been buying daily and taking stuff to work to put in the fridge there. If only I’d done that with my milk before it turned into a lump of green Death. “Why haven’t you organised furniture by now?” I hear you cry… the answer is simple. That wonderful, organised, efficient and helpful company which I apparently work for still cannot sort their arse from their elbow and work out how to pay for it. It’s been 3wks and still no answer from the reprobates in the accounts department. Hopefully I’ll get a bed before my back disintegrates but who knows? It’s like playing the lottery but with a lot less hope of winning…
My new housemates are an interesting bunch, there’s a young couple beneath me who are studying online for different courses. I assume they work but I do know that they stay up until midnight watching TV, playing music and having friends round. There’s another couple I haven’t seen and a guy I haven’t met. There’s a foreign dude who drives a souped up Chevy and likes to do burnouts at 1am and to finish off a guy moved in opposite me yesterday. He looks about 60 and to be honest, like a tramp. He always seems to catch me when I leave my flat and he kindly regales me with stories about why his wife left him, taking the house, their 2yr old son and to top it off, she’s pregnant again! Now I hate to be a nasty ol’ cynic but he showed me a picture tonight (I forgot to run away) and his wife is a very pretty woman in her 30’s and the son is definitely the postman’s baby… I’m not just unsurprised she left him, I’m fucking amazed she went anywhere near him in the first place! I’m still giving good odds that he’s a nutjob and she is a niece or something but I’d rather not talk to him to find out.

Luckily there is a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of my new job. I’ve enjoyed the last 2 days at work more than I had the entire 6 months I spent rotting at a desk in Newcastle. That’s despite the 6am start and 10-11hr days. I’m working in the development office and it’s a crazy fucking place most of the time, they’re responsible for 3 separate development panels so blazing rows about which one gets the use of limited resources like fitters and electricians are the order of the day. My new boss has been a legend, he has organised so much for me already and I’m incredibly grateful. I’ve got a lift to and from work each day; computer access and I’ve already had my underground induction. He even left his office for 30mins so I could use his internet to look for furniture. Everyone I’ve met so far has been pretty cool, they’re mostly older guys in their 30’s and 40’s but there are a fair few younger guys and a few women too (!!). I’m starting underground on Monday for at least 2wks, maybe a month depending. Because being underground means 10hr shifts (they run 3x 8hr underground shifts) I may only have to work 4 days a week because my boss wants me to keep to a 38hr week as much as possible because they can’t pay me overtime. Possibly the biggest improvement is that no-one gives a fuck about what you look like or what car you drive or any of that pathetic materialistic shit, they just do their job and have a good time doing it. Once I buy a pair of jeans I’m never wearing a shirt to work again!

That’s about it for now… this may well be out of date by the time I upload it. Leave me some comments people so I know there’s more than one person reading this!



** An ellipse AND capitals, both almost definitely used incorrectly... Suck that shit up!